Things changed the day you walked into my life. A writer who could have thought and imagined of anyone while reading or writing, went through a change, an unexpected change to be precise.
The cheesy ones stopped seeming to be cheesy. They reminded me of the silliest moment we spent together.
The stories ending up with death scared me, the fear of going away from you was so deeply instilled in my heart.
The love stories, they made me think of you and me and a future, however distant it seemed.
The erotica, they did their best too, made me think and crave for you like never before. They made me go weak on my knees by thinking of your touch and breath on my skin.
You changed me, girl, and you made me yours the moment you walked in.
Hello Everyone, I’ve started a new section in my BLOGOSPHERE, that of Short Stories and Nano-Tales…
Every week I’ll be uploading one of these stories or tales here… Hope you’ll enjoy it… All types comments, reviews, suggestions and criticism is welcome 😊😊…
Love and Regards – K@ 😊❤
To that lunar beauty,
And oh! Soft- vacant lips
A gesture of love-
The never forgotten secret kiss,
The future and the day after
Of love and loneliness
Seals the prayer of closure:
An organized mess
What would you call the petal-less beauty?
Plucked and plucked again to please your hopes.
What would you call smirking at couples in public
A lovelorn myth… loss?
An ode to the lunar beauty again,
That I never was for anyone.
Ode to the sillage of you that I love,
Which never really had you stunned
Would you call it a Petrarchan rage?
Of sitting on the single’s bench, as a couple
Or maybe that solitude of “an artistic guy”,
Who sits alone with a notebook at a couple’s table.
And I write something alone now.
My love: the dichotomy of being together yet alone.
The space abundant, yet so compressed,
The silence we exchange… they’re impressed!
What love do we share?
When there are no gazing and occupying of the corridors.
We eat alone sitting at the same table
We choose to walk with our friends instead,
Lack of amour?
And I am sitting at this foundation,
“Spirituality”, “cleansing”, “inspiration”
I don’t understand many of your emotions,
And your listless, wandering notions,
Your pessimistic potions
But I pause, I pray, and I praise.
And hope that I would one day see the line,
The line I never wish to erase.
I, perhaps, will be reminded, “Oh! What a gem of a person!”
Yet all I wish, and plead, and pray for is
To not see that line that separates us like darkness from that crescent-shaped peek
But the line that separates love from dismay,
Of solitude, both you and I were brought up with,
Of solitude, now your sanctuary, my misery
And yet I understand and love each of this,
But I need to, damn, I need to
Separate not us,
But love from loneliness.
We have come along way, we’ve grown up, changed,had fights, lied, and probably everything anyone could think of. But there’s a reason why we are friends.
You’re always there for me when I fall, and always know how to make me smile when I’m down, it’s the little and simple things you do to make me laugh, just know that I will always be there for you and will always be the shoulder to lean on, if you need me I’m just a phone call away. I got your back and you got mine that’s why we’re best friends.
The day I met you
I found a friend –
And a friendship that
I pray will never end.
You never ever judged me,
You understood my sorrow.
Then you told me it needn’t be that way
And gave me the hope of a better tomorrow.
You were always there for me,
I knew I could count on you.
You gave me advice and encouragement
Whenever I didn’t know what to do.
There were times when we didn’t see eye to eye
And there were days when both of us cried.
But even so we made it through:
Our friendship hasn’t yet died.
Circumstances have pulled us apart,
We are separated by many miles.
Truly, the only thing that keeps me going
Is my treasured memory of your smile.
This friendship we share
Is so precious to me,
I hope it grows and flourishes
And lasts unto infinity.
Our friendship is one-in-a-million
So let’s hold on to it and each other.
We cannot let this chance of pure bliss fly away
For there will never be another.
“Okay, I’ve got to go. Mom’s calling. She has cooked roast chicken for dinner. Smelling good! What did you have?”
“What do you mean by nothing? It’s almost twelve. Will you ever learn to eat on time?!”
“Look who’s talking! I’m broke, love.”
“But.. what about the money Sid had lent you yesterday? How did you finish two thousand rupees so quickly?”
“Um, I forgot to tell you about this. Yesterday night, while returning from work, I saw some beggars sleeping on the footpath, shivering with cold. Their clothes were in tatters. It was so sad. So I bought some blankets with the same money & gave it to them. Poor people. They don’t even have proper clothes to combat the cold…”
What will I do with this boy? I let out an exasperated sigh as he went on rambling about the plight of the beggars. I wasn’t even listening to him.
The pain of the beggars mattered a lot to him, but for me, the thought of him sleeping hungry stung more. Ever since he had shifted to another city for his work, he had become careless about his health & slept on an empty stomach frequently. Yes, maybe I was blinded by my love for him. He was the most beautiful person I had ever known, after all. His kindness, generosity & his beautiful soul was what had attracted my soul to his. No, I could never be as selfless as him and that made him a much better person than me. The reason I loved him silly. But his generosity was exceeding to a quixotic level now, driving me nuts.
“…please say something. I won’t do such things henceforth,” he pleaded in a timid voice.
“Don’t you dare skip your dinner because of me. Swear on me that you’ll eat.”
I’d truly received more than what I had wished for. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Why don’t you say something? Are you angry, love?”
“Don’t you think you are a little too talkative?”
I could sense his charming crooked smile at the other end of the receiver.
“You know I can’t remain angry with you for long. But, I’m just wondering whether we would have any blankets left in our home, if I marry you,” I chuckled.
“Hello? How are you?” I ask.
“Fine, Dad,” he replies.
“We are fine, too. How are things at home? The network here is really poor. The roof was leaking last night. But I have managed to find a solution for it. Your mother misses you. When will you come?” I ask him.
“One question at a time, Dad. I even forgot what you’d asked earlier. We will come the next time I avail a holiday. This time we are going to Singapore,” he says.
“Okay. Have fun. Let me know in case I can help with anything,” I say to him like I have been saying all along.
“Yeah, yeah. Like you could,” he says and scoffs.
“Did you say anything, son?” I ask. I pretend not to be able to hear his words.
“Nothing, Dad. Goodnight,” he says and disconnects the call.
I hobble back to the room where my wife is adjusting her hearing-aid. She asks if I had a chat with my son. I nod. She asks about his well-being. I tell her that he is fine.
I read her eyes which wait for me to tell her when he’d be coming. I know that she reads in my eyes that it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
And somehow like this, we have shared twenty years together.
The next afternoon, a postman with an envelope appears on my doorstep. I adjust my spectacles as I read the address it is from. It’s from my son.
I tear it open and find money. I don’t even bother to count it.
‘For the leaking roof,’ a note reads.
The roof in my house is just fine. Little did my son realise that I needed no envelope. All I needed was his presence.
I Like You.
Right here, is the bare truth.
And I am done.
I am done acting like it’s okay when it’s not.
I am done talking to you, aching for you to understand me and you pretending like it’s just a normal conversation. I am done trying to pretend like it’s okay to let this go, even without trying.
Because you know what?
We’ve been so trapped in all these social mazes. Pathways that restrict you to talk about EXACTLY what’s going on inside you. These sly bastards of protocols just making you tweak the words, not look at someone you like too much, not let them know how much you feel, when you just want to do all of the above. And that too, a lot.
We’ve forgotten how utterly freeing honesty can be. When you just walk up to someone who vibes with your heart to tell them that, “Hey, I may not know you, but I want to. Because somehow my soul feels a little more welcome around you, a little more alive.
But we won’t. We don’t.
We’ll play chase.
We’ll go “You have to want me first for me to want you.” Or. “If you invest this much in me, I’ll invest equally.”
We stomp upon our hearts, we lie awake thinking why we feel this way, why we feel so much.
God, we are so afraid.
We are so afraid to get hurt. We are so afraid of pain.
And that’s exactly why we push away from anything that kicks us off our comfort.
We want to fall in love but we don’t want to give it all.
We want to kiss till 4 a.m. but don’t want to bare our hearts.
We want to look into each other’s eyes but not embrace the demons and fears lurking in their depths.
Ah, but what if I want to just come to you and tell you that I love you?
That I don’t give two fucks about these idiotic rules.
That on a planet with feeling beings, trying not to feel is just so wasted.
That I’d like to give us a chance. A fair chance.
And I don’t mean half-hearted promises. I mean the kind of words that are followed by actions to cement them into time and space.
So would you?
Would you allow me in,
Even though you’re watching me from HEAVEN, I’ll tell you something.
I think about you constantly.
I wonder what life would be like if you were still here. I imagine all of the things you’d say. I imagine all of the different adventures we would have gone on.
I wonder who I would be if you were here. I wonder what we would all be like. I think about all of the different ways things would’ve turned out with you in our lives.
I miss you all the time. I miss you so much that my heart hurts. My heart literally clenches tightly when I think of you, as though it’s trying to hold itself together while my thoughts try and tear it apart.
Time is supposed to heal all wounds but, it seems as though time just provided me with a band-aid that gets old and falls off more often than not.
I know you’d hate it, but I still cry for you. I still sit up at night and wish that you were here. I still talk to you and ask you for advice.
I can’t help but want you here. Life has moved on but my heart and emotions haven’t. I can’t move on.
I have your picture everywhere. I think it’s because I’m afraid that one day I’ll forget your face.
God… I hope that never happens.
I don’t remember your voice anymore. I remember things you said, but it’s been so long that your voice has faded from memory.
I refuse to let you fade completely.
I won’t do that to myself. You are the memory that I cling to when things get bad. You are the hope I hold onto when things get dark.
I need you, and your memory is all I have left. So, I’ll keep it alive for you.
I will carry you in my heart wherever I go in life. I will petition God to have you as my guardian angel if that’s what it takes to keep you with me.
I know that you are up there watching me. I know you look down and keep guard over me.
I can only hope that I’m making you proud. I can only hope that I’m what you imagined I’d be in life. I can only hope that you’re smiling at me and not up there shaking your head.
I won’t hope that you miss me as much as I miss you, because missing you is painful. Missing someone is too painful for Heaven to allow inside its gates. It’s too painful for me to wish on anyone, especially you.
I love you.
And I miss you more than you’ll ever realise.