*10 Things I Have Learnt About Life In 20 Years Of My Existence*
1. To be or not to be, is an easy question. Who to be, what to be, when to be, why to be, where to be, and how to be — these are the real questions. You may not be able to have a control over all the answers to these questions, but you can always control at least one answer, and your life will be decided on the basis of what you make out of it.
2. The purpose of your life can be anything you want it to be. And, if you can’t find anything, let it be to create value. To accomplish something. Life is like a balance sheet. The world doesn’t owe you anything, nobody owes you anything, and you don’t owe anything to anyone either. There’s no profit or loss to be made here, except for the good or bad deeds you have to your name. You can either be an asset or a liability to the world, depending on whether you contribute any good to the world (even as little as making someone smile) or bad. It’s okay if you don’t do any good, as long as you don’t do anything bad, but if you do something bad, ensure that you do something good to rectify it.
3. You can’t expect everybody to understand you when there are days even you don’t understand yourself. You’re not the same person you were years ago. We keep changing with every new ideal, belief, and piece of information we accumulate. And, if you aren’t changing, you probably aren’t growing, either.
4. Your love cannot make people love, stay, or change. And, it is not your responsibility to make anyone change either because you can’t. I have heard too many people saying “I thought I could change him/her/them,” who end up paying for it themselves. Whether the other person will change or not for the better, you will end up changing for sure and it will be for the worse. People are not projects you can work on. They are as free as you to do what they want, love whom they want, change if they want, or just be who they want to be. The only person you can change is you.
5. You can only save others if you save yourself, and you cannot save those who don’t want to be saved. Some people are just too content being miserable and wallowing in self-pity because it is easier for them to cry than trying to smile. You aren’t giving up on them, you’re just letting them be.
6. There’s only so much your brain can remember. So, you can choose to fill it either with the good memories or bad memories. It’s difficult to forget the bad memories but it’s more difficult to remember the good ones. So, make a note of the good on paper or wherever you can before they vanish from your mind and whenever you find yourself drowning in bad memories, you can always come back to the good ones.
7. Learning to savour sadness is an art very few can master. You can go through life carrying all the hurt and pain within you or you can let it go. Letting go is difficult but not impossible. Our brains are conditioned to focus on the bad more than the good. Rebel against that conditioning. What you choose to do with the pain decides the kind of person you are and will be. You can allow it to make you weak or you can become brave. You can allow it to make you bitter or you can make peace with it and choose to channel that pain into becoming a better person.
8. Belief in yourself is all you need to survive in this world. Don’t believe the naysayers, they aren’t living your life, you are. Make it worth your while.
9. Whenever life gets too difficult, try to think of it as a story or a movie. A movie which has a happy plot without any twists or turns will get boring, and nobody would want to watch it. And, it is not necessary that the movie should have a happy ending. But, even if it has a sad ending, it should be a movie worth watching. Even if you have nothing else to live for, live with the curiosity to know the suspense of what will happen next in the story.
10. There’s always a way out. It may be hidden in the darkness at times but the sun will shine again. And, sooner or later, you will find your way again.