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Thereโ€™s more to me than what you see

Youโ€™re familiar with my smiles, laughter and glee

What you donโ€™t know is the side I hide

In my room til itโ€™s gone – any proof I have cried

I donโ€™t want to be viewed as someone ungrateful

I donโ€™t want to admit Iโ€™m someone who is self-hateful

On paper I can list a large collection of blessings

In my head all I can focus on are things Iโ€™ve made messy

Almost two decades in, I cannot be trusted

To make normal decisions; honestly Iโ€™m disgusted

With myself, with my actions, the thoughts in my head

โ€œSuch a handsome, charming boy – why would he be such secretively bad?โ€

Thatโ€™s what would be said if I took to be lead 

Not an option for me, I wonโ€™t be misled

By the statistics, percentages, the supposed facts

They say one in five of us will succumb to the cracks,

Weโ€™ll give in to the โ€œflawsโ€, lack of proper brain composition

They say 20% will take their own lives – but I refuse to listen

Besides, a part of me will not trust or allow

Someone else to take my place in the things I do now

You see I like things done a certain way 

Like cleaning, organising, or creating at a certain time of day…

Thereโ€™s more to me than what you see

Youโ€™re familiar with my smiles, laughter and glee…

~K@MMY1431

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